Change, The Inevitable Force
Change. It is the inevitable force in nature that surrounds us and is part of our physical and spiritual existence. Everything is always changing somewhere.
The seasons, your location and where you live, relationships, interests, your body, your soul evolution…EVERYTHING.
As much as some of us enjoy the comfort zone, change will always find you, and you can either fight it, or embrace it and let it flow into your existence.
There are times in life where you’ll feel as if you’re swimming along nice and smoothly, as if in a calm stream in the middle of the mountains.
You see where the stream is going, and even though there might be some twists and turns on that stream, you can see them coming, you can prepare, and flow along nicely with the change.
You see it as if it’s planned out; you feel like you can see yourself in this spot or that area at an upcoming certain point in time, a day from now, or a year from now.
But what happens when that stream hits the open water? You suddenly find yourself on the biggest lake of all the lakes or in the middle of the ocean, with no shorelines in sight.
It’s foggy, and a storm is brewing up. The water has gone from calm and tranquil, to a violent influx of peaks and troughs.
You’ve lost any control that you THOUGHT you had, and you’re forced cling onto nothing but faith that somehow and in someway, you will survive.
You endure the surge, and everything has calmed down again, but yet, the fog still remains, and still no shoreline in sight.
You’re beaten and battered, dazed and confused from the onslaught from the storm.
What do you do? How do you navigate towards finding what you want when your compass is spinning in circles like the one in Pirates of the Caribbean, because you NO LONGER KNOW what you want most? How do you move forward?
The Reset Button
Prior to all this, everything may feel structured to some degree (at least it was for me).
You wake up, you go to school, then you work your way up through the ranks into high school and college.
You’re put on a path, and almost forced to figure out “what you want” at an early age. College feels like the only route to take because the system says so, and yet, also feels like the safe choice.
Eventually you finish college, you dabble in a couple other things, and then eventually you start what you think will be the “corporate ladder climb.”
Three years ago was that reset button for me. The job no longer fit me, or me it. The stress I put myself under had taken its toll. I had just got out of a relationship and my living situation wasn’t the best either. I took a leap, with no blueprints, no plan, no sight line. After a few months of taking a much needed break and nothing panning out for work, the finances were dwindling, and it was time to move back home. The same weekend I felt like everything was starting over, I lost one of my grandparents, just to add to the chaos. But as with many dark days, there are silver linings to be found, and beacons of light that start shining through the cracks.
I had a job, in a field that I went to college for, that I worked in for a few years, which was graphic design.
Everything up until that point felt like it was planned out to some degree. Until one day, I figured out that the 9-5 wasn’t what I wanted at all, after initial wanting that so badly because at the time, retail hours were all I basically knew.
You’ve worked yourself to death, trying to prove yourself to the world around you, and though you may get many compliments and accolades for your hard work, you all of the sudden have found yourself digging a hole in the ground that you have fallen into because by your own doing, you’ve over-stressed yourself, made some mistakes, and life isn’t looking like how you may have pictured it, and the only alternative is to hit the reset button on everything you knew.
Three years ago was that reset button for me.
The job no longer fit me, or me it.
The stress I put myself under had taken its toll.
I had just got out of a relationship and my living situation wasn’t the best either.
I took a leap, with no blueprints, no plan, no sight line.
After a few months of taking a much needed break and nothing panning out for work, the finances were dwindling, and it was time to move back home.
The same weekend I felt like everything was starting over, I lost one of my grandparents, just to add to the chaos. But as with many dark days, there are silver linings to be found, and beacons of light that start shining through the cracks.
I fell into freelancing, and taught myself how to start a one-person business. But even though I was able to get that going for my graphic design work, over the past two and a half years since starting that (as of the posting of this article), it still has felt like I have been in this foggy open water.
To put it simply, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was having an identity crisis.
I realized up until that point, that to some degree, I was living a life that I thought I was supposed to be living.
All the information I took in from childhood all the way until age 29 felt like it was how life was supposed to be.
That I had to have a certain job, and certain wage, and have my own house, with a wife and kids by the time I was 30 (and don’t get me wrong, I know plenty of people and friends who have great families, jobs, and houses, and kudos to them as they were able to figure that out, and find a way to do it, and a lot of them are happy).
That was the vision I made for myself way back in the day, of how I thought life was to be navigated.
This is how it was going to be, and it all seemed (somewhat) easily achievable in my mind, until it wasn’t.
It was becoming more clear each day. I didn’t even know who I was anymore.
I knew certain things about myself, but there was no vision anymore, and everything I knew just felt like I was carrying a brown moving box with clusters of information and memories thrown into it without any care or calculation.
So you start waking up. It’s as if you’ve been alive this whole time, but the glasses you were wearing were someone else’s, and you finally just took them off.
In a way, it almost feels like being a child again; having to experiment and “play”…but instead of with toys, you’re playing with ideas, things to try out, while also figuring out how you WANT life to look.
That itself is a process when everything you thought you wanted is not what you truly wanted.
Buried in the subconscious, it starts to percolate, and then slowly and surely makes itself into the conscious mind.
You also start to wake up to your own patterns, negative self-talk and you begin to question why certain negative things keep happening, despite feeling on some level that you deserve more abundance then you’ve ever been able to manifest.
So, How DO you move forward when you’re sitting in that open water with a non-working compass?
As we all are in this world, I’m very much a work in progress. But here are some of my personal tips based on my experiences thus far (if you are going through similar things or currently transforming yourself):
1. Go Within
Sometimes it is the scariest thing to do, because you’re not sure what you’re going to find.
It’s HARD facing your own demons, or patterns, and really putting them on display for yourself to notice so that you can change them.
One thing I can say for sure though…if you choose to face something about yourself and really go ALL IN to make a change of some sort, it is so liberating in the end.
Once you do it once, momentum starts rolling with you, and once it gets going, the process becomes easier, and gives you the confidence to face any other patterns you might want to shift in the future.
Though in theory it does get a bit easier because you get used to the process, there will most likely be times when a stumbling block comes up that knocks you back.
You may feel like you fall back to the starting line just after gaining some momentum, but keep at it! Even if it doesn’t feel like you’re making progress at times, you definitely are (as long as you’re putting in an effort).
2. Take a Step (even if it is unclear of what that step is)
Let’s say you’re wanting to get away from a job that you’re absolutely dreading going to every day, from 8 am – 5 pm, and by this point, you’re a zombie.
You know there is something more for you, but what? Do anything you can to take a step in a different direction or change the routine.
I don’t care if it is spending an hour less time on social media in a day, or choosing to go to bed 30 minutes earlier. Once you do SOMETHING different, your mind will shift just that little bit to make you start thinking a little differently.
If you have some clarity on WHAT you want to do, then that will help you that much more. It basically says to the universe, “Ok I want to make a change, and here is me showing you that.”
Soon enough, little things may start to pop up you didn’t notice before. It could be a new opportunity out of nowhere, or maybe the ideas just start pouring in for the first time in ages.
Just that simple step will get you that much further ahead than if you had just stayed at the starting line.
3. Prepare for Delayed Gratification
In a world where we want everything right here, right now, yesterday, before it was even available to buy, you HAVE to be patient with yourself and with the manifestations.
Whether it is a weight-loss journey, working through any anxious triggers that set you off, or attempting a new entrepreneurial venture, it is almost always going to take a little more time than you might be used to. But if you truly, deep down want to complete the transformation, it will be worth the effort every single time.
(sidenote: In my opinion, effort doesn’t always mean working your ass off until your stressed or blue in the face. It’s more about keeping that momentum going and keeping the mindset positive as you take consistent steps forward, but also allowing for breaks, and allowing things to come to fruition).
4. Gather Your People
I consider myself one who likes to do many things himself. I like to wear different hats, but I also know that without the right people involved or by my side in some way (and vice versa), it is a much less uplifting and enjoyable process.
Support is key through any process, and with technology at your fingertips now-and-days, it is easier than ever to start meeting people who might resonate with what you’re looking to change or what you’re going through.
I will add to this though: If one of the big changes in your life involves changing the people you are around, start putting yourself out there in whatever way feels best for you.
It can definitely be scary as I know this from experience, but each time I do, I am (more often than not) pleasantly surprised by positive feedback or reactions, even if you’re used to talking down on yourself.
I’ve also dealt with a lot of anxiety in my life, and I know that even taking the step to put yourself out there can feel like a daunting task for some. Having said that, eventually you will start to draw in the people you resonate best with.
For any of you navigating the fog in life right now, no matter how old you are, or what you’re going through or are looking to change, just know that through the storms comes great enlightenment.
Also, the more you start talking positively to yourself, the more you’ll start to believe in your own actions and potential.
As easy as it can be to focus on the negative experiences that occur, if you can rewire yourself to be more positively biased, I promise you that great things will begin to manifest in your life (and in many ways, unexpected).
I would love to hear about your transformation stories or experiences! You never know who else you will inspire! Leave a comment below!
Keep the faith, stay strong, and live your best life! Until next time, thanks for reading!