It’s been almost 3 months since I’ve posted anything online…going completely radio silent as of mid-February 2022 on all of my social media profiles, as well as turning off my website and halting all provided services that were going in the direction I was building (Conscious Creation Coaching and content around manifestation/new age concepts). Why? Jesus Christ.
Prior to this, I was actually gaining a lot of internal momentum and confidence around the directions I had been building for myself over the last few years. I had this hunger to not only learn about all things spiritual, but was beginning to integrate many new age thoughts and teachings into my own life, with the ultimate plan of teaching others all of this knowledge they could potentially apply to their own lives too.
Whether it was around attempting to help others tune into or hone their energy in new ways, get past some personal blocks, or utilize something such as the Law of Attraction to improve a life circumstance (aka manifestation), I was doing everything I could to learn more and more about the “higher self” that we can tune into, and wanted to guide others towards all of this.
Then the Jesus of Nazareth from the Bible found me. Ok, so he wasn’t literally standing in my room, but His living Word and omnipresence found me in mid-February, and wow, did it ever shake my world to the core.
Change has always been a stickily thing for me, so to have my entire world view I’d been carrying for most of my life flipped around like a truck in a tornado, along with many of the branches of my belief system either shaken up or cut off completely in the blink of an eye, was a pretty heavy experience, and is still something I’m quite frankly working through.
Everything from views or practices I was learning and integrating, to how I was talking and being or guiding others…some of it may have been good and fine in God’s eyes, but as I’ve come to learn in the last two and a half months, I personally believe Jesus (the non-new age Jesus) found me in order to show me actual truth and His plan and aspirations for the world we reside on, and His plans for me personally as well (though what that looks like exactly is a mystery to me still).
I suppose thankfully, though it has been personally frustrating, painful, emotional, and even depressive for myself, I am grateful He found me when He did, instead of potentially after gaining a lot of momentum or a huge following, teaching things I was planning to do so that may not have been good and true.
At some point, I will dive much deeper into what all of this is about, and explain why I’ve made such a drastic shift in my current understanding of life, my world views, my website/service directions, etc. In the meantime though, I at least wanted to provide this post for all of you whom have either been supporters for me thus far, have worked with me, or have even read a post or two on this website. Perhaps you’re a new visitor to this site as well, so this post will give you a general idea of transitions I’m working through, where my beliefs reside, etc.
If you had found your way to this site prior to February 2022, you would’ve seen the following:
- Conscious Creation Coaching services that infused Law of Attraction beliefs and mindsets with creative coaching
- A pay-as-you-wish guided meditation
- An online shop that included astrological mugs and bags
- Many more blog posts that had a “transcendental” flavor to them
- A free downloadable guide to help you identify choosing life directions, based on tuning into the inner self
- All of my social media platforms were also infused advice or guidance from the perspective I was carrying at the time that was infused with new age beliefs and concepts
Obviously if you look around the site as of this post, the site has been stripped down to the bones in many ways compared to what it was (at least for now). So why have I stopped offering certain things or have deleted most of my blog posts?
Again, I will get into the details of this soon enough once I’m able to make a more comprehensive break-down of my newfound epiphanies, but since I’m relatively early in the process of my learning and walk with accepting Jesus as my Lord and savior, it’s going to take a bit of time to get something out there that I’m confident enough in explaining to the best of my ability, with at least a little bit of Biblical scriptural support to go with it.
Now within this process, I’m still going through and seeing if anything I was saying or creating before (whether it was just motivationally-based posts or videos, or if some of these things infused any teaching that I now renounce), so it has been a bit of a pendulum swing, and am attempting to find the balance between what was good that I was already offering or creating content around, and what may not have been good in God’s eyes (part of the relationship-building process).
That being said, I can tell you a quick summary of what I have been up to or experiencing in the last 2-3 months overall (if that even matters, haha):
- Accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior
- In doing so, I had an experience of feeling my heart and body filled with this energy and feeling I’ve never experienced before. Though I’ve experienced certain energy or bodily experiences through some other energy practices while I was in the New Age umbrella, this energy had a noticeably different feeling. Basically, it just felt like this showering of unconditional love that no human, pet, or anything in the world could ever give give (it was just on it’s own level). Even though we experience facets of those feelings with some people or with our precious animals, this was a love that surpassed any understanding. I wish I could put it into better words to help demonstrate the truth of Jesus to you, but perhaps if you’re not yet a believer, you will find your way to Him and experience what I have as well.
- Began reading the Bible (which I had never done before in my life).
- Finished the New Testament within 2 months (now going back to read the Old Testament)
- Have spent hundreds of hours (no joke) watching video of people who’ve converted to Jesus from many backgrounds (New agers, Buddhists, atheists, etc), as well as many who’ve had near-death experiences, or researching many of the ins and outs of what it means to be a Follower in Christ, and what that means in our modern world
- Began comparing and contrasting my world views with Biblical world views
- Started learning about the true Jesus Christ and his life, and began understanding on an inner level why we need a savior, which has helped me understand why I feel Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.
- Financial challenges
- Spiritual attacks, depression, and stagnation
Again, some of the things I’ve listed may sound farfetched, but have been 100% true in my experience, and will get into more deeply at some point soon.
So what’s next?
There’s much more to explain with all of this, but effectively, when Jesus comes to you and you pick up your own cross to follow Him, there are many unknowns that come with that. Quite frankly, I’m still working through what this actually looks like in a practical, earth-based way.
What type of work am I suppose to take on now? Where am I being guided to? Where am I fearful or resistant? How can I even trust anything right now since I may have been infused before with an energy that was not Godly, but may have been demonic (scripture even says: “And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14 NIV)). In my experience and others who’ve been plucked from it, this is why the New Age and many of the beliefs parading around in our world from it are a deception, and many don’t even know it (if compared to Biblical world views).
As I continue my personal studies and infuse my understandings of what I’m to step into next, I will be offering my creative services again, which can be found on the Services page and we’ll see where everything goes. I’m also open to new part-time opportunities or collaborations. Or it’s entirely possible that those offerings may not be God’s will for me either at this time. Quite frankly, I’m experimenting with figuring out what I’m meant to be doing at this time in my life. Time will tell.
I understand what I have written here may be surprising to some, or perhaps you’ll be turned off by my new views on life. If you no longer resonate with me, that is entirely understandable, but I can promise you this…once you come to Jesus, so much will change inside of you, and you will see the world differently if you’re able to grasp and integrate the true understanding of who He is and what His promise is to us, and why we live for Him. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows. I resisted for a long time too when I was integrating all the other beliefs I was learning, but He definitely found me, and the initial experience I had was unforgettable.
I don’t say these things to try and convert people. Quite frankly, I do wish that the universalism world view was the truth, but I no longer feel this way at this moment in time based on what has been put on my heart, based on the unrelenting research I’ve done thus far, and what I literally experienced, as countless others have as well that I’ve come across on YouTube.
Do I know everything? Absolutely not, and to claim I do would be blasphemous. I say all of this with as much humility and grace and openness as possible though. I’m completely aware of the differing views of other people’s beliefs from different cultures or religions. People are free to choose what they want to believe, but at the end of the day, when the truth hits you, it hits different, and it’s hard to go back once that becomes a reality for oneself, no matter if you want the truth to the different. And again, don’t necessarily take my word for it; look into it yourself.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16 ESV).
I will say this to end this post though.
Jesus Christ is the ultimate healer. If you’re lost or feeling inadequate or not carrying the strength you’re wanting to carry, invite Him into your heart if you haven’t already. I say this with humbleness though…because this process hasn’t been easy at all to understand, and it can be so easy to get sucked too far into the religious dogmatic direction that can be found within some church teachings and rituals (from my understanding, perspective, and experience thus far). We are to always use discernment.
Jesus wants a relationship with you. He died to cover our sins in this fallen world that we reside in, and he simply asks us to fully believe in Him in return. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16 ESV). Yes I understand there is a little more to it than that, but we all start somewhere.
If I accidentally led anyone astray before, I ask for your forgiveness and grace. But like with anything in life, we’re all going to make mistakes (sometimes unknowingly), or course correct into something meant for us. I’m here to share my experience, and now point others to the truth of the Word and who Jesus is. But ultimately, it’s still up to you in terms of whether you choose to believe. God does give us free will, but once He calls you and you pick up the phone and really study and attempt to understand and integrate His vision for humanity within your own life, a lot changes, and it can change quick.
With that being said, I implore you to look into it yourself. Don’t take my word for it for I am still a human attempting to do my best to do what feels right and feels in alignment for what I understand Jesus wants. God is above all, and we are the children. More to come.