In part one of Spiritual Awakening: Unraveling the Conditioning, I talked about some of my own initial awakening experiences and how they changed my overall view on how I approached many circumstances or situations in my own life. In part 2, I continue this dialogue, and also offer you a couple of tips of how to potentially better understand your own experience with “unraveling.”
Ogres Have Layers, and So Do You
When you begin to unravel the conditioning with yourself, you may never know from your current conscious level how deep those layers go or how many additional branches may be attached to any particular base experience. Are you at a point in your life where any of this sounds familiar? What can you do to confront the feelings that rise to the surface, or to change a pattern, and unravel the conditioning? Truth be told, it’s not usually a one and done type of process, as we’re always growing, learning, shifting and pivoting (“Pivot!”) with each new experience, twist or turn in our lives.
As of the writing of this post, I can say that my actual overall living situation in this physical reality is no different than it was 2.5 years ago when I had to move back home to start over and start building from a new base. But where the difference lies for me is how I perceive my current situation is 180 degrees different today than when I moved back home and felt shameful, frustrated, felt like a failure, etc. And by the way, none of these feelings were projected onto me from family or friends. The thoughts of failure mainly stemmed from my own inner dialogue about myself and probably caused by the death of a part of my ego.
In my own experience, I’ve had a really difficult time deciphering between a “bad gut feeling” in the body vs. making a big decision (but couldn’t tell if that decision was right or wrong).
Instead of focusing on the frustrations and possibly “not being where I thought I would be” by this point in my life, as I began to dive deeper into my own thought processes, I began to release the negative conditioning and began changing my internal thoughts to embrace my current situation; to look at each situation as a blessing or a way to learn or grow. I’ve always had a supportive family, and I’m extremely grateful for that. But I also learned about myself that I’ve always had a hard time accepting love, compliments, and embracing who I truly am on some levels and letting that show in the world. I’m definitely a work in progress as those feelings or thoughts around those situations run really deep, but because of my thought shifts, and releasing buried feelings and traumas from the body and nervous system, I have no doubt in my mind that wherever I end up from here will be great for my path. Despite the inner healing work required thus far, and facing the inner demons that didn’t want to let go of old patterns or ways of being, it has been worth it.
A Couple Wholesome Tips to Help You Out
If you’re going through anything similar, or a major transformation of your own, however you navigate your experiences is up to you, and it’s going to be personal to you, as some ways of navigating are going to be different for each person. Having said that, I do want to offer a few tips below on what has worked best for me in aligning with what feels like the real, authentic me during my transformation thus far. Take with you the advice that resonates, and leave the rest.
- Learning your intuition
Ah yes, intuition. We all have it in varying degrees, it’s just that there are some who are more in-tune with it than others. I think for a long time it was stigmatized to be tied to just psychics and those connected more deeply to higher realms. Though being connected to “higher realms” may play into it (in essence, your connecting to your “higher self”), we all carry that inner-guidance GPS. When you begin to question yourself about any situation, or potential direction, start to pay attention to other areas of the body, the heart-center, your gut, etc. The mind alone is an amazing machine, but like so many machines, it has its different processes for different situations, and it can play many tricks on us or protect us from perceived threats, even if a threat doesn’t actually exist at a given time. It WILL definitely take practice to begin to understand.
In my own experience, I’ve had a really difficult time deciphering between a “bad gut feeling” in the body vs. making a big decision (but couldn’t tell if that decision was right or wrong). I’ve come to learn as of the date of this post that due to a lot of the anxiety I’ve dealt with over the years, my nervous system has stored a lot of information where “thoughts” or “old experiences” were tied to it, causing it to be inflexible and easily set off. So at times, when I think of an idea, my mind may travel and bring back an old “thought” that is similar in nature to the current situation or potential future, and may make the current circumstance FEEL like the wrong thing to proceed with, even if that’s not inherently true at all. This makes learning intuition feel like learning rocket science, but sometimes, you gotta experiment with different decisions to give yourself the chance to re-teach yourself and your nervous system that it’s going to be ok.
Like with any skill, the more you start to understand where situations are guiding you by developing intuition, the more it becomes a useful tool in your own toolbox. If you’re into Pirates of the Caribbean, a physical example of your intuition would be Jack Sparrow’s compass (it points to what he wants most at a given time). Your inner GPS does the same thing (except we just can’t see it with our eyes).
- Traveling back in time
Ok, not in a literal sense, but let’s start up that Delorean and see where it takes you! Let’s say you’re looking to change careers, or lifestyle, or maybe all of it blends together somehow and you’re lost in the woods on how to start. Look back into your childhood a bit…what got you excited? Was there always something you liked to do in your free time that that you’ve potentially thought about getting back into, but want to do on a larger scale? Could you make a business out of what you enjoy? Did a dream get stifled because friends, family or those you really admired opinions from set an imprint in your mind to think that something wasn’t possible? Are there any thoughts or reoccurring potentially positive circumstances that come out of the blue that seem random, but maybe in reality are trying to get your attention? Does that thought feel good for a second, but then for whatever reason, you brush it off as an idea you think is stupid, or no one would appreciate? Explore those thoughts that come up. It might just be the initial spark for you to take action into a direction that could bring you immense joy.
- Journaling or Talking Out Loud to Yourself
It’s hard to find clarity when you have your own thoughts and ideas bouncing around in your noggin, let alone the thoughts that you’ve taken in from others throughout the course of a day (or lifetime). To be honest, I don’t journal as often as I probably should (but I do have like 10,000 sticky notes on my desk, walls, floor, on the pet (not really), etc). However, I notice a pretty big difference in “clearing the clutter” of the mind when I take some time to write some things out. Just let the thoughts come to you in that session as well. Write whatever comes out, even if it doesn’t fully make sense in the moment. Go back to it later and see if you can find any patterns or clarity in regards to what you might be dealing with. In relation to this article, if you’re trying to dive into unraveling some of your thoughts from your past, start by writing about some of your past memories. Maybe if you have a reoccurring pattern in your life around a situation, maybe your actions are stemmed from an old and conditioned belief from a past circumstance. Even if you write for 10 minutes a day before you go to bed every night, look back on those entries later and see if you can start making some connections.
Yes, meditation feels like the new buzzword of the last couple years. But the benefits are astronomical, and quite frankly, probably not well understood by the masses (depending on who you ask). I get it though! I started getting into some sort of meditation practice just a couple years ago. It definitely felt…odd, and it has been something that I’ve practiced on and off over the last couple years (though admittedly inconsistently). Like, “I’m just supposed to sit here and breathe for however long and not let my mind think about stuff? How do I not let my mind wander?” It sounds simple, and it can be, but like any practice, it takes “practice” and consistency to allow for it to become part of your daily routines, and to start seeing larger benefits from it. I’m no meditation guru, but what I can say, is that I have definitely noticed how much more calm and clear I approach my days and how much less reactive I am to situations when I am consistently practicing. The more you do this as well, the more you might start to bring old thoughts or memories to the surface to clear out. This in turn will release the energetic attachments of these thoughts from the body, which effectively in time, helps to unravel the conditioning within. It is not necessarily comfortable when this happens though. There may be sessions that feel really pent up and tight if a deep feeling is coming up for release. Most other times though, you’re likely to feel more calm, collected, and peaceful.
Well, this concludes this mini-series. I hope you got something out of this, and can start applying some new routines or techniques into your life to help you clear out the old, and allow in the new. Especially during these major times of the unknown with the COVID-19 pandemic, there may be a lot of shifts and unknowns that come to the forefront in your life at this time. Use this time to go within, get creative, and allow for faith, God, or the universe to guide you towards your brightest future, while surrendering to the attachments of the past. Thank you for reading!