Growth is part of life. Just like all of the animals and the plants that are part of this amazing planet, we grow in our different ways, have different dynamics, challenges, and life situations to learn and evolve from. All of our family situations are different, all of our cultures have their unique ways of living and navigating through the world, and every single person has unique gifts and talents to utilize in this life if they choose to explore them fully. Every generation faces different challenges, and so we do our best to build constructs around coping with those challenges, or creating life based on how we think it should be.
We’re each given an individual “ego” in order to navigate this planet in the best ways that we can through the bodies we’re given. We learn from those around us, based on their experiences, and as we intake the world consciously and subconsciously, we are taught different things about how life is supposed to be (or how we perceive what we think is true). We touch, taste, smell, hear, and see in this physical reality. But what if there is so much more to our experience than those 5 senses?
I was about 22 years old when my attention began to be captured by something that made zero sense to me at the time. I started to see number patterns consistently in places without consciously looking for them…and it started with 11:11. I didn’t think too much of it at first, but it eventually became so strong that it was hard to ignore why I kept seeing it. My ego was going crazy. Seriously, why the hell do I keep seeing these patterns?
I didn’t really have too many answers at first, but I was intrigued to say the least. It wasn’t until the age of 29 is when things kicked into high gear in regards to “waking up.” There were many other events and life happenings that happened between 22 and 29 that directed me down this path (topics I will later get into with other posts or videos) and I began very slowly understanding the connections between our physical bodies, the mind, soul, and collective consciousness. For the sake of this post though, let’s focus on the last couple years and some of the questions you may ask yourself in regards to what “unraveling the conditioning” might feel like.
Just before turning 29, I had recently left my job without a plan in place. It was my first job in the industry that I had graduated from college with (graphic design), and figured it would be step one in “going up the career corporate ladder.” Though I was thankful to be utilizing a skillset I enjoyed and was utilizing my degree, I worked myself into a burnout in 3-4 years time. My physical health was not in the best place, I was extremely anxious and edgy, and so much just felt off within myself that I basically crashed. I wasn’t honoring me, my worth, my body, my time, or soul (even though at that moment it time, I didn’t really understand what was happening at all). Like many of us in our late teens and early 20’s, I had originally started building a life that I thought I wanted when I conjured up what life would look like for me by age 30.
That initially-planned reality did not come to fruition (not even close), but I’m beyond glad that it hasn’t, despite all of the trials, tribulations and hard days that have come along with it. The last 3-4 years for me have been extremely eye opening with so much growth, understanding, unraveling, and awakening.
Spiritual Awakening in Practical Terms
So what is a “spiritual awakening” anyways? Effectively, it is a shift in overall consciousness and perception; a breaking down of the ego self, allowing for a new consciousness within to come to fruition. For me, it has felt like understanding a much deeper connection to all things, as well as a better understanding of myself (physical and metaphysical). You may begin to look at everything differently; and question pretty much every aspect of life. Your goals, the life you want to live, how you’re serving in the world, how decisions affect everyone around you, the people you allow into your energy field, how you make decisions; LITERALLY everything you can think of may come into question. Sometimes it’s as simple as how you treat all entities around you.
I somewhat view the awakening process like being a caterpillar for the first part of your life (gaining those life experiences, thinking that everything you learn as a caterpillar is what your reality is and will be for your life), and then transforming fully into a butterfly.
For example, I used to hate any sort of bug or spider I would find in the house. My initial reaction was always to “kill it with fire.” Since going through this process though, I have a newer perspective for all life; I simply try to save them instead (most of the time), as they too, are living breathing creatures part of the collective (yes, spiders included). They just want to be your friend anyways :). This is a very simplistic example, but instead of acting on the initial reaction of wanting to kill it, my initial responses have now shifted to one of more compassion for all things living.
Another example of a perception shift might be around what you value in life and how you go about it. Each person’s values are going to be different, but at some point in my own growth, I often looked at material gain as the poster-child for “success.” Don’t get me wrong, I like to surround myself with nice things, be as presentable as possible, and I much prefer to be in a clean living environment. I do have my personal living goals and standards that would be nice to obtain. But I place a different value on “material” objects now. In general, there is way less energetic attachment, which effectively, frees you from any shackles you may have tied to something.
At the same time though, I more often think about how grateful I am to have what I do have…even if my current car is rusting, or my bedroom is small, or whatever perceived “negative” there could be. I also started to value my connection with others more. Once I began cultivating self-love, and knowing and beginning to believe that “I am enough as I am” and diving into a much deeper understanding of self, my internal world began to shift, and now is beginning to shift my outer world with it. For some, this can be a quick process, but for me, it has been a much longer integration process. There’s a difference between understanding and obtaining information about what you’re going through, but to then apply those principles and integrate them into every day life is a whole other process.
Deeper Perspectives and Better Responses to Life Circumstances
I somewhat view the awakening process like being a caterpillar for the first part of your life (gaining those life experiences, thinking that everything you learn as a caterpillar is what your reality is and will be for your life), and then transforming fully into a butterfly. How you navigate each day, what you do on a day-to-day basis as a caterpillar is one way of living. Then one day, the caterpillar cocoons itself (the introspective process), and then over time, transforms into a butterfly. All of the sudden you have wings, and you’re looking at life from all new perspectives and the day to day becomes different because you can fly. You get to see and feel through the world with a whole new set of lenses and sensory systems, and then it starts to make sense how much everything is integrated and connected.
Effectively, unraveling the conditioning basically means that you’re stripping yourself from anything that you believe to be true about yourself, yet somewhere within in you feels unauthentic. It is getting down to the core being of who you actually are before any one person or situation imprinted on you.
Along with that deeper understanding of self, at that point you may begin to realize and approach others much differently as well. Maybe someone reacts to a situation that involves you in an outwardly and angry fashion. Maybe you did or said something that seemed very nonchalant to you, but absolutely triggered someone else. Instead of reacting back, you might begin to think from their perception for just that split second. It’s possible they’re going through a hard time or working through an internal wound that hasn’t been addressed, or maybe what you said was just the final straw in a day for them that really was quite shitty for whatever reason. It does not mean you have to change your opinion in that moment, and it does not mean that this other person is right or wrong either; but if we begin to come from a place of understanding (from both sides) without so much harsh ridicule, disagreements and arguments can then be approached from a calmer perspective. This in turn, allows for healing and resolution to more easily come to the forefront. However, effectively it would take both parties to approach an issue with similar compassion, but in essence, you’re in control of how you react or respond, and how they react or respond is on them, their experience, and will be part of their own path of learning and self-discovery.
Now, some of the changes I mentioned above are a natural part of life shifts anyways, such as wanting to change jobs or maybe you want to try a new hobby. But these shifts may also coincide with enlightenment. Maybe because of your conditioning, you’ve gone down your path and have created so many beliefs around things that you’re tolerating, but might not be truly serving you. Maybe you’re a lawyer, but actually wanted to be a musician. Maybe you’ve always wanted to live in a big city, but still find yourself stuck in the country. Or maybe you grew up thinking that having money is bad or there is never enough, so now you find yourself struggling because that’s how you view your reality to be.
And to that you might say to yourself, “Why would I think differently? This is what I know!” But I promise you, once you begin to objectively question and embrace the possibilities that exist around you as you break down your walls and conditioning, even if it has not physically manifested in your reality yet and even if it is as scary as hell to jump into the unknown, you will begin to see the small shifts you make turn into bigger shifts and life changes. All of the sudden, you’re on a path in life with momentum that you never thought was possible. So much of it starts with your thoughts and how you choose to perceive what reality is to you and how you value yourself. There is so much power behind what you believe is possible. If you don’t believe on some level when you can’t see it, how do you expect to live or see things any differently?
Effectively, unraveling the conditioning basically means that you’re stripping yourself from anything that you believe to be true about yourself, yet somewhere within in you feels unauthentic. It is getting down to the core being of who you actually are before any one person or situation imprinted on you. Not what your parents think you are, not your friends, coworkers, or even the stranger on the street you met at the supermarket that happened to say a rude comment to you one day. Our experiences shape us in many ways, and so often, can affect us on a deeper level than we ever thought possible. However, once you begin to chip away at the concrete layers that have built up over time, little by little, the weight begins to lift, and you’ll begin to feel more free and light and good.
For the follow-up post to this post, please see Spiritual Awakening: Unraveling the Conditioning Part 2 (COMING SOON!).
Thank you for taking the time to read! I hope this resonated for you! If it did and you feel like it could help someone else, please share with your friends, and also consider donating to the blog! Thank you for your support!